Tuesday, August 20, 2013

My Brother's in a Relationship

  As many of you know, I have two younger brothers. The sixteen year old one, "Connor", has had a girlfriend for almost two years now, and she's amazing. She's smart, funny, and an all around great person. I consider myself very lucky to know her.
  However, it wasn't always this way. When Connor announced to us that he and "Erin", after months of being just friends, were going to become an official couple, I was nervous. What was it going to be like? Would Connor tell her about me? Would she understand? Would she even like me? To tell the truth, I was desperate for her to like me because Connor means so much to me, but I wasn't quite sure how to get her to like me. Over time though, I came up with some tips that worked really well when dealing with a sibling's significant other that I thought I'd share with you.

  1. Remember, sometimes they are as anxious for approval as you are. Be as nice as you can.
  2. Let the two of them alone, but if they invite you to join in their activity, it's fine to say yes if you want to.
  3. NEVER EVER take sides in a fight. Be Switzerland. It is THEIR problem, not yours, so they shouldn't ask you to judge or take sides.
  4. Invite them places. Ask if they want to come to a movie with the family, or even to dinner sometime. People really appreciate this.
 5. Compliment them. If the two of them are dressed really nicely for a dance, say "You look great." Girls especially like this.
  6. If your sibling decides to tell their significant other about your Asperger's, have them communicate to their significant other (or you could do it yourself) that if they have any questions they can feel free to ask them.

  I hope these tips help you, because after trial and error, I have found them to be quite true. I have found I actually rather like my brother's girlfriend, and we share a lot of the same tastes.  She's a fun addition to outings and is always ready for anything. She has turned out to be a good friend, and I hope you Aspies can learn from these tips and actually come to like your sibling's significant others as much as I do Erin.
"" Denotes a name has been changed

Monday, August 12, 2013

New Things

  In a few days, I will be ready and packed to leave for college. I will say goodbye to my family and friends where I live and journey to another state to attend University.  To say the least, I am scared.
  Those of you going to college, to a new middle school, high school, or even a new town know exactly what I'm feeling. Yes, it's definitely a terrifying prospect to have to deal with. Making friends seems daunting, finding your way around seems challenging, and heaven forbid if we have to talk to strangers.
  Yet, an older, more experienced friend of mine told me being scared is normal. Everyone freaks out in an unfamiliar setting. He told me several things that helped him in his first year of college, and as they are good tips, I am going to offer them to you guys going to new places, because they really are helpful:

  1. The first two weeks in a new place are always the weird ones. You're figuring out your surroundings, navigating through this place, and just getting a feel for the people. After the first two weeks, you will find a routine, and it will feel immensely better.
  2. I cannot promise you it will be easy, but I can promise you will eventually make friends. It may take some time, but do not despair, there are people just like you who are hoping for a good friend. Don't give up hope. 
  3. Talk to your teachers. Tell them you need help, lay it down for them, and they will go to great lengths to help you. They WANT to help you, it's actually their job.  Some may laugh when they read this, but I swear it's true, it's happened to me too often for me to write it off as a rare thing. 
  4. Join clubs. Go out if people invite you to movies or such. It's hard, I know, but that is how you make friends.
  5. If you don't know what to talk about, ask people about themselves. People love to talk about themselves, and it takes the spotlight off you for a bit. But don't be an interviewer. Input your own opinion occasionally. 
  6. Try new things. Be crazy enough to say yes. You may surprise yourself.
  7. Be yourself, don't wake up one day and realize you don't know yourself anymore. Live the life you want to live and the rest will follow.
   I hope you all found this as useful as I did. Best of luck to all of you off to new experiences. I hope this school year is full of blessings for all of you!