As many of you know, I have two younger brothers. The sixteen year old one, "Connor", has had a girlfriend for almost two years now, and she's amazing. She's smart, funny, and an all around great person. I consider myself very lucky to know her.
However, it wasn't always this way. When Connor announced to us that he and "Erin", after months of being just friends, were going to become an official couple, I was nervous. What was it going to be like? Would Connor tell her about me? Would she understand? Would she even like me? To tell the truth, I was desperate for her to like me because Connor means so much to me, but I wasn't quite sure how to get her to like me. Over time though, I came up with some tips that worked really well when dealing with a sibling's significant other that I thought I'd share with you.
1. Remember, sometimes they are as anxious for approval as you are. Be as nice as you can.
2. Let the two of them alone, but if they invite you to join in their activity, it's fine to say yes if you want to.
3. NEVER EVER take sides in a fight. Be Switzerland. It is THEIR problem, not yours, so they shouldn't ask you to judge or take sides.
4. Invite them places. Ask if they want to come to a movie with the family, or even to dinner sometime. People really appreciate this.
5. Compliment them. If the two of them are dressed really nicely for a dance, say "You look great." Girls especially like this.
6. If your sibling decides to tell their significant other about your Asperger's, have them communicate to their significant other (or you could do it yourself) that if they have any questions they can feel free to ask them.
I hope these tips help you, because after trial and error, I have found them to be quite true. I have found I actually rather like my brother's girlfriend, and we share a lot of the same tastes. She's a fun addition to outings and is always ready for anything. She has turned out to be a good friend, and I hope you Aspies can learn from these tips and actually come to like your sibling's significant others as much as I do Erin.
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