Sunday, March 25, 2012

To be Truthful or Not to be Truthful...That is the Question

     Don't get the wrong idea when you read this title.  I am not telling you to outright lie.

    Ok, so now that we have that settled, today, I am going to talk about white lies.

     Don't get me wrong.  It's not ok to let a friend walk out in an outfit that makes them look awful and you should stop them.  However, there are times that you can tell small white lies that will hurt nobody and will actually make someone feel good.

     Aspies have a tendency to tell the truth.  A lot.  Which is good, but it can also hurt someone's feelings. And I want you to not make that mistake.  Consider what I did once.  It was Christmas, and I opened my grandmother's gift.  With horror in my mind (and on my face as my brother would tell me later), I picked up the ugly sweater she had bought who knows where.

     "Do you like it?"  She asked.

     "No. It's ugly."  I replied simply.  (Keep in mind I was five at the time).

     My grandmother looked mad.  And my mother made me apologize, but I didn't know what I was apologizing for...honestly.

     Long story short, she forgave me and has bought better gifts since.  However, I had really hurt her with that comment.  Instead, I have learned to tell little white lies that are helpful to every Aspie.  Now, if I get a gift I don't like, or already have, sometimes from friends and sometimes from relatives, I just pretend to like it, smile and thank them for whatever it is.  If someone gets me something I don't want, there is no obligation to wear it in public.  Just wear it once around the person who gave it to you.  If it is from a store, I say "I'm not sure this is the right size.  Where did you get it so I can get the correct size?"  Then you can return it later.

      So be careful with what you say and follow my example.  I think you'll find family gatherings a lot easier.

     Originally posted at on February 19, 2011.

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